It’s the holiday time of year across the globe when some cultures celebrate Christmas, some others celebrate Hanukkah, and almost everyone celebrates the New Year. Interestingly, in many South Asian cultures, people often plan their weddings during this period, as it’s believed that stars align in a magical pattern now, making it an auspicious and blessed time for two souls to unite. Even though it sounds enchanting, I dread this so-called “wedding season.” Not only does it entail limitless small talk and causeless socialising, but it also calls for incessant shopping. The peer pressure forces me to buy a lot of stuff, ranging from bachelorette pyjamas to some over-the-top, expensive, heavily studded lehengas (an Indian attire). Being an introvert who doesn’t enjoy shopping, one can only imagine the angst I have when there is so much to compulsively buy in such a short span of time with a body size like mine.
Trying hard not to overwhelm myself, I began by looking for basic T-shirts, the ones that are easiest to buy, that almost everyone gets conveniently, and are available at the nearest store. To most people’s surprise and my dismay, buying these basic T-shirts turned out to be a big challenge for me. For the first brand I liked, size “L” was too big for me, “M” was too small, and “S” was completely out of the question, so basically, that didn’t work. With some optimism, I hopped on to the next brand, and I witnessed a similar challenge. Here, size “M” gave a weird, disfigured look, while size “L” gave a “hanging on a line” look. My patience and optimism were certainly going down when I wasn’t finding something despite visiting a plethora of stores.
Gradually, I started questioning myself. Was there anything wrong with my body? I was sure these curves wouldn’t justify calling myself “lean” or “skinny,” but at the same time, I am certainly not “chubby” or “overweight.” So, what was going on with me? Did I not belong here? Was I a misfit (both literally and figuratively)? Why wasn’t I finding and fitting in the available “right size”?
And, Just when I was about to settle for a dress that didn’t fit me well and made me a tad uncomfortable, I came across a tailoring shop that sews clothes according to your actual size.
Eureka!!! Eureka!!!
This place wasn’t fancy and extravagant like the branded shops I had been visiting, but it certainly would make me look and feel better than those. I felt so stupid and was asking myself why I was wasting my time in those conventional shops when I could get my clothes customised according to my shape, size, complexion, and so many different parameters!!! Not only would these tailor-made clothes make me look better, but also make me feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin.
Sure, they would cost me more than buying a usual piece of clothing, but they are absolutely worth it. And here’s a good reason why these customised clothes are fairly more expensive than the usual ones. To begin with, they are exclusive. Only I would have the exact same piece catering to every inch of my body, as no other person would have the same symmetrical body as mine.
Also, the materials, the colours, and the studs would bring out the best in my demeanour and will be intricately assembled just for me! One has to go the extra mile, sometimes many miles to get that right material and combination for me. They have to work a little harder, and stay up a little longer to carve out that “Perfect fit”. So, it’s only justified to pay a bit more than usual. Again, It’s all worth it.
Recently, something similar happened in my personal life. This time, it wasn’t just about clothes. It was about some major life decisions. Most of my peers got settled, or I might say “fitted,” in their lives – like clothing – and here I was, struggling to find the right fit, or rather, my big choices. The usual trajectory that most people follow, and have been following for time immemorial, made me uncomfortable and rather suffocated. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that trajectory, it’s just that it didn’t feel right for me. I was trying to fit into clothes that weren’t my size, and obviously, it made me feel miserable.
To find the right fit, I had to go the extra mile and take roads that weren’t traveled by many. I’m still finding my path, and it will certainly take a while longer than the usual ones. But in the end, I believe it’s better to go out and search rather than sit in those tight clothes and feel smothered. What might look like a fairytale for one can actually be a nightmare for another, and vice versa. As cliche as it may sound, we struggle so much to fit in when we are meant to stand out.
Let’s look up to this lady who was considered too emotional. She was instructed, ‘All right, you need to flatten out your voice. There’s too much emotion in your voice.’ What if she had believed them? What if she had considered herself a misfit? What if she had adopted and squeezed herself into the conventionally accepted norms?
Well, In that case, the world would have missed out on a renaissance called “ The Oprah Effect” and we wouldn’t have known the Oprah Winfrey we know today!